I saw this on Zhihu a long time ago. Whether you call it a joke or a tease, I'll try to retell it.
Three people go to apply for a job at a chemical industry-related company: one is a major in analytical chemistry, one in organic chemistry, and one in computational chemistry.
The first one interviewed was the analytical chemist. The interviewer asked, "What is produced when hydrogen ions and hydroxide ions are put together?" After some thought, the analytical chemist gave the answer: "They form water, H2O." The interviewer said, "Think about it again, what exactly can be produced?" The analytical chemist hesitated for a moment and said, "It just produces water, H2O." The interviewer finally said, "You can go back now."
The second one interviewed was the organic chemist. The interviewer asked, "What is produced when hydrogen ions and hydroxide ions are put together?" The organic chemist also gave the answer after some thought: "They form water, H2O." The interviewer said, "Think about it again, what exactly can be produced?" The organic chemist thought some more and said with confusion, "Maybe there are some trace unknown impurities?" The interviewer finally said, "You can go back now."
The third one interviewed was the computational chemist. The interviewer asked, "What is produced when hydrogen ions and hydroxide ions are put together?" The computational chemist gave the same answer after some thought: "They form water, H2O." The interviewer said, "Think about it again, what exactly can be produced?" The computational chemist glanced at the interviewer wickedly, walked to the window and drew the curtains without a sound, turned back to look at the tightly closed door, and whispered, "What would you like it to produce?"
I remember someone in the comments saying: "A veteran computational chemist, skilled at Photoshop and creating fitted curves."
What have we gained since computer tools entered the traditional scientific research industry? The first thing we gained was a sense of novelty and excitement; it opened up a path that had never been imagined before. Fresh blood was injected into the researchers' brains, and countless inspirations and possibilities burst forth in an instant. Many problems that were once difficult to solve, or problems that had to be bypassed, were met with tools to break through and solve them. Subsequently, a large number of scientific research achievements with brand-new, brilliant ideas appeared—some retrospective, some subversive, others pioneering new approaches. These achievements, cutting through thorns and thistles at the forefront, became lighthouses in the vast ocean of knowledge and the unknown, followed by countless successors. In the end, scientific research results that did not involve this new direction were viewed as too old-fashioned, traditional, and backward. Achievements that could have been graded A before now only get a C. Many people innovate for the sake of innovation, awkwardly and crudely utilizing these new technologies, and others have even organized standardized routines, or even exploited information gaps to rake in profits. They tell stories that are full of holes and that even they themselves don't understand, telling them to others who also don't understand. They call it: the livelihood of a million barge men.
很久以前在知乎上看到的,说是笑话也好说是调侃也罢,我尝试复述一下
有3个人去应聘一家化学行业相关公司的岗位,一个是学分析化学的,一个是学有机化学,一个是学计算化学的。
第一个面试的是学分析化学出身的,面试官问,氢离子和氢氧根离子在一起会生成什么,分析化学家稍加思索给出了答案,生成水H2O。面试官又说道,你再想想呢,到底能生成什么。分析化学家犹豫片刻说到,就是生成水H2O。面试官最后说到你可以回去了。
第二个面试的是学有机化学出身的,面试官问,氢离子和氢氧根离子在一起会生成什么,有机化学家也是稍加思索就给出了答案,生成水H2O。面试官又说道,你再想想呢,到底能生成什么。有机化学家又想了想,疑惑的说到可能还有微量的不明杂质?面试官最后也是说到你可以回去了。
第三个面试的是学计算化学出身的,面试官问,氢离子和氢氧根离子在一起会生成什么,计算化学家同样的,稍加思索就给出了答案,生成水H2O。面试官又说道,你再想想呢,到底能生成什么。计算化学家鬼魅的看了一眼面试官,不动声色的走到窗前把窗帘拉好,回头看了眼紧闭的大门,低声的说到,你想生成什么。
我记得评论里有人说:资深计算化学家,擅长PS和制作拟合曲线
当计算机工具进入传统科研行业,我们得到了什么,得到得第一个就是新奇感和兴奋,这是开辟了一条从未设想的道路,新鲜的血液灌注进研究者的大脑中,无数灵感和可能性一瞬间迸发出来,许多以前难以解决的问题,不得不绕开的问题,都出现了突破口,都得到了解决问题的工具。之后便会出现众多闪耀着光辉的全新思路的科研成果,有回顾性的,有推翻的,有开辟新思路的,这些在最前沿劈荆斩棘的成果将成为知识与未知的汪洋大海上的灯塔,无数后人争相追随。最后,科研成果里没有涉及这个新方向的,都会被视作过于老旧传统和落后,以前可以打A的成果现在只有C,许多人为了创新而创新,突兀且生涩的利用这些新的技术,还有人为此整理了规范化的套路,甚至利用信息差大肆捞取利润。他们讲着漏洞百出且自己都听不懂的故事,讲给那些同样听不懂故事的人听。美其名曰:百万漕工衣食所系